Without Hope There is Nothing
by cactaur117
Summary: Hope has attempted suicide and it's up to Lightning to journey into his subconcious and wake him up. will she be able to traverse the dangers of his despairing mind and find him to free him from the shackles of his torment? Rated M just to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

It got harder and harder to breathe It was like weights were being put on Hopes chest one at a time. He couldn't take it anymore his Mother and Father dead...He had Lightning and he saw her as a Mother but he was dragging her down.

"She doesn't need some kid holding her back." He thought she had been taking care of him for the past year and she loved him like a son or brother but Hope couldn't see this. "She would be happier if I was gone...She has a future as a soldier...I'm ruining it all..."

"If I was gone...she could go back there she could reach the high rank she always dreamed of..." He paused for a minute thinking about Lightnings knife. He reached into his drawer and pulled out the folding knife and putting his freshly written in journal inside it. looking at what was etched into the blade it read:"Without Hope there is nothing."

He looked at the etching for a minute and rubbed his fingers along side it. "With Hope there is nothing." He said in a whisper.

He got up and went into the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror and realized he had been crying and wiped the tears away quickly. "Dammit Hope all you are is weak all you are is a cry baby and a weakling." He said to himself.

He got into the bath tub and sat down in it so no blood would get into Lightnings floor.  
>He thought about Lightning and shook the thoughts away. He then grabbed the knife and unfolded it choking back a sob.<p>

He thought about how much more happy Lightning would be if he was gone. "I'm sorry I've ruined a year of your life Lightning..." And he plunged the knife into his wrist and cut vertically to near his elbow he screamed in pain.  
>"You can have you life back now you don't have to take care of me anymore!" and just after saying that he dropped the knife his head fell back and everything went black.<p>

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><p>Lightning had just walked in the front door bringing in some food from the fast food place Square Burger since she wasn't at all good at cooking. "Hope I'm home I brought you an Enix burger!" After no answer she yelled again "Hope it's and Enix burger your favorite!"<p>

"Where is that kid?" She walked upstairs to his room and she got a chill as if something was wrong. "Hope?" She walked into his room. "Are you in here?" She walked into the bathroom and let out a muted scream. "HOPE!" She ran over and checked for a pulse a faint one was present.

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><p>The only sound was the faint beeping from a heart rate monitor and sniffles from Serah. Lightning was sitting on a chair beside Hopes hostpital bed holding his hand while Snow and Serah were sitting in chairs across the room a few feet away.<p>

"W..Why did he do it?" Snow spoke up but not in his usual fist pumping attitude.

"I found this in his night stand." Lightning handed him a beat up book.

Snow began to read a few lines from some of the journals contents. "I hate myself. I wish I would just die all I do is hold people back. keep them from achieving their full potential all I do is ruin peoples lifes if I was gone everyone would be happy again. They could have the freedom to live their life as they wanted and not deal me..." Serah let out a slight sob. She had gotten to know Hope very well within the year he lived with them and they were almost best friends.

Lightning stared at Hope listening to this. "I'm sorry Hope I'm so sorry I'll save you from this Hope I can't lose you you're the only thing that gives me Hope for the world..." Lightning thought to herself as the doctor walked in.

"Hello Miss Farron." The doctor said in a grim voice as he shook her hand. "PLEASE SAY HE'LL WAKE UP PLEASE SAY HE'LL WAKE UP." She thought to herself and then asked in a level voice. "We'll he ever come out of his coma?" The doctor paused for a minute and then said "There's a less than 5% chance of him waking up...there's no reason it should be that low it's almost as if he's forcing himself to stay in his coma..."

"Is that even possible?" Lightning retorted quite quickly.

"If his wills strong enough if he want's to give up on life that badly then yes it is possible..."

"T..Thank you Doctor." She replied her voice starting to crack the doctor nodded and left the room.

Lightning took her place beside Hope once again. after about 15 minutes of silence Snow spoke up his voice cracking. "L..Lightning we s..should make funeral arrangements...He's suffering keeping him alive with life support..."  
>Even Lightnings soldier stoic mask couldn't help her she let out a sob and tears started to fall Serah pulled her chair beside her older sister and hugged her.<p>

"It's okay Claire...It's okay..." She comforted. "I..I h..hate myself...I..I wasn't strong enough to see it..." Lightning sobbed into her sisters shoulder. She regained her composure and looked up her eye's still red. "L..Lets give him a week to get out of this...I..If he doesn't wake up we'll turn off the machines..." Serah nodded.

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><p>They had been there for 3 hours and Snow and Serah got up. "The Doctor says visiting hours are over but you can stay since you're his guardian..." Lightning nodded giving Serah one last hug before they left.<p>

She was now alone she looked at Hopes lifeless body and the horrible looking stitches going all the way up his wrist. A quote from his journal flashed into her mind.

"They don't care about me Lightning doesn't care about me what's the point in even living?" How could he think that? How could he think no one cared about him? Lightning loved him dearly as if he was her own son...Did hiding her feelings cause him to do this to feel like he's unloved was it her fault?

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><p>It had been five days and Lightning barely left the hospital. "Two days Hope...Please wake up...PLEASE" She thought to herself. She took his hand. "It's a snow balls chance in hell but I'm going to try it..." She thought to herself.<p>

"Odin,Alexander if you're still watching over us...Please let me in to help him..."

She sat in silence for a couple of minutes and all of the sudden she hear wind rush past her and when she opened her eyes she was shocked at what she saw. There was a dim sun in the distance and many jagged life barren cliffs. She was in his subconcious. She got up and to her surprise she slipped...she was on sand.

"HOPE!" She called but all she got was her own echo coming back from the valley in the distance. It was a hot and sunbaked land scape not even a breeze was present. Lightning continued into the valley walking down the narrow passage only to find a door..."A door?...Not really fitting to be in this valley..." She said to herself it looked like any old door you would see in a house in the 21st century an antique she reached over turned the nob and opened it.

She walked into a room and looked around it was lit by a dim lightbulb. "HOPE!" She called again. but still just an echo to her surprised she heard a mechanical whirring and she turned around and 8 televisions appeared infront of her on mechanical arms. displaying on them was a picture of Sazh they all played in unison creating an echo effect.

They showed Sazh and it looked like they were on pulse. "You're nothing kid." He said in an unusually angry voice. "You couldn't save Vanille or Fang it would have been better if you would have died instead of them!" Lightning could hear Hopes sobs in the background of the video. Sazh raised his gun and pulled the trigger and the Screens went blank.

Authors Notes: Please review if you want another chapter I'm going to scrap this if I don't get any positive reviews.


	2. Chapter 2

Lightning was now standing in a dark room looking at eight dimly lit televisions. "Is this what Hope thinks of us...how could he think this...we're his family?" She walked to the other side of the room to another door this one automatically slid open upon her approach.

She walked out and upon her approach she felt a arctic breeze and shivered. "What happened to the nice dry desert?" She said unamused. She trekked for what seemed like hours until some of the snow gave out on her and she fell in a hole.

"Ugh dammit Hope..." She got up and looked up about 15 feet she couldn't jump back up she would have to follow this tunnel.  
>The pink haired warrior started decending the tunnel pointed icicles were stuck to the roof threatening to skewer her somehow some light was down here but she wasn't sure where it was coming from.<p>

"HOLY SHIT." She looked around and backed behind a corner quite quickly and a verse from his journal echoed back to her.  
>"I wonder the dark halls wondering about all I've betrayed as I look up I see they're faces affixed upon Cie'th they look at me and cry only one word...Revenge."<p>

Lightning poked her head out and saw the faces of Vanille,Fang,Sazh,Snow,Nora,Bartholomew and her fixed upon seven Cie'th they're faces were crystallized but still you could tell who they were easily.

"Shit what am I gonna do I'm unarmed...gonna have to sneak by them..." She thought to herself. She crouched and moved slowly hugging the walls her eyes locked on the cie'th. The Cie'th let out a gigantic roar and turned towards Lightning who then ran for the door on the opposite end of the tunnel. The cie'th chased with incredible speed saying only one word "Revenge."

She was almost at the door when she felt a cie'ths fist graze her back and she dove for the door running up a flight of carpeted steps and into what looked like a living room. She looked back and as the cie'th tried to pass into it they distegrated.

Lightning sat on one of the couches panting. "God dammit Hope why do you have to have such a vivid immagination?" She said out loud. She heard foot steps walking down the stairs and she looked up to see Nora and Bartholomew Estheim walking down the steps side by side she looked to the other side of the room and Hope was standing there bloodied and beaten.

"Hope!" Lightning called out and she ran to him but when she tried to grab him her hands just fazed through.  
>"An illusion..." She said in a choked up voice she thought she was so close to saving him but it was hopeless.<p>

The illusion continued to play though as if she wasn't there. "Hope! you got beat up again at school!" His Father growled.  
>"Y..Yes Dad" Hope replied sounding terrified. "What a weakling!" His Mother laughed. Hope covered his ears and fell down on his hands and knees and screamed and everything faded away and Lightning found herself sitting in a tunnel once again.<p>

Lightning continued down a corridor and went up a flight of metal stairs and came out onto a clearing in the desert once again. "The desert again...great better than the blizzard I suppose..." Lightning walked for hours and collapsed she was so thirsty and was ready to die from dehydration she was going in and out of conciousness and flash backs from the journal haunted her once again.

"I walked through the desert the sand buffeting my skin I was so thirsty I collapsed I cried out to my friends to no avail no one came to help me and I knew what to do I had to say...I had to say..."

The words escaped Lightning it was her only chance for survival but she couldn't say them she would never admit that never her mind started racing with thoughts "NEVER I'LL NEVER ADMIT THAT I'LL NEVER EVEN THINK IT!" and a smaller voice came into her mind Hopes voice he was crying calling for help... Lightning swallowed her pride and said the words.

"I Claire Farron am weak..." And just like that she felt renewed she got up without any trouble and continued walking thinking about what she just said...no admitted to herself.


	3. Chapter 3

She finally found another cliff side with a door she entered a room it was pitch black feeling alongside to wall she jumped when she heard a mecanical whirring as eight televisions appeared in front of her again.

They flashed on and she was on the screen looking back at her. Her television self started. "Hope...Your weak and I will never love you I wish when I left you alone you would have been attacked by PSICOM and been killed now look at you...all you do is drag me down I wish you would just die or fade away you should just kill yourself..." The images went off leaving only blue screens. Lightning looked down at her feet. "

I..I should of told him...I loved him..." A light came on in another doorway She walked towards it. When she came through the doorway she saw the frail body of Hope on the ground blood all around him.

She shouted his name and ran over to him he didn't stir. "Hope please wake up!" She said shaking his body. "Please Hope answer me!" He gave a slight groan. All of the sudden words filled her head and she knew what she had to do.

She picked up his limp body and held him in her arms and started to sing in a beautiful voice she didn't even know herself she possessed.

_"Without Hope there is no Light...Without Light there is no Hope...one cannot live without the others warmth...if one dies the other does as well...each one must care for each_ other..._each one must love each other..._"

She sung these verses multiple times until he stirred.

"L...Light...y..you came for me."

She just smiled and hugged him. And just like that they both woke up Lightning holding his hand in the hospital he was awake. "Light...thank you..."

Snow and Serah jumped up and approached Hopes bed Serah spoke up first. "Hope your awake!" She put him in a tight hug. Lightning was brushing his hair with her hands and Snow was doing the fist pump.

"I knew you would get through it man!" And Hope thought of the foolish things he thought of his friends and just closed his eyes being embraced in their warmth.

"Hope we love you." Lightning hugged him.

Snow came up to the side of his bed and ruffled his hair. "Come on man you really thought we didn't care for you?" He was giving his patented stupid grin.

Serah giggled "You really scared us Hope! Don't you dare do that again!"

Hope started to cry. "I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry I almost threw this all away..."

Lightning was still running her fingers through his hair. "Don't worry about it I should've told you I loved you you're like a son to me Hope."

Hope blushed but he knew everything was going to be okay.

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><p>Authors Notes: Man that was fun to write I'm going to go back into the earlier chapters and clean them up a little bit...Another Chapter...Hmmm? leave in the reviews if you want another chapter.<p> 


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